15 August 2017 @ 11:48 am
... reality is blocked by form and image...  
Well, I guess I will no longer be able to browse lj during my down times at work.

The administrator blocked the webpage. Probably because it's Russia owned. At least I can still browse Dreamwidth but it's not the same, you know. I can't even access it through my cellphone while using work's wifi, I get a message the phone couldn't access the internet. Only with lj.

Oh well.
Current Music: Feder, Alex Aiono - Lordly (feat. Alex Aiono)
Current Location: work, killing time
10 August 2017 @ 11:56 am
... without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of communication...  
When I came home from work yesterday evening, this little card was waiting for me in the mail.

Showing you guys only the cover since the words inside are in French but it said something along the lines of "there are sorrows that are difficult to get through when a loved disappears but once the sadness will be less important, the most wonderful memories will remain" and "Dearest condolences" was handwritten. By the team at the Vet clinic.

This touched me very much, I could have come to tears. The combination of the picture, the words and the fact it's still so new. And they showed they care; that my cat wasn't just a number to be taken care of.

I will cherish that image always. Not just because of Ginger but it's a beautiful picture.
09 August 2017 @ 11:31 am
... a house is not a home without a cat...  
In my case, my apartment isn't my home without a cat in it.


I miss my beautiful cat terribly. I was so used to seeing her on the couch or in the French door's window when I returned home from work (or any time I left for a while), she was joining me while I took a bath, she joined me in bed when it was time to sleep... no matter if she spent the night with me or not. She also always used to lay behind my chair while I was at the computer, all sprawled all and comfortable. She would meow to get up to the window, even if she would stay there for maximum 5 minutes. She would be interested every time I was in the kitchen. She would lay close to me on the couch half the time. She would be quiet and suddenly have a moment of craziness where she would run like crazy all around the apartment. She would stare at nothing specific but you couldn't hide whatever she was staring at. She would "cackle" at a bird or a squirrel outside the window. She would lay in the sunny spot on the floor, belly half up but don't touch her there. She would come for pets and she' be so quiet, except for small purr sounds...

I miss her face, I miss her fluffiness. I miss her curly haired belly. I miss her companionship. I miss her, period.

When I got off the bus Monday night, the first thing that came to mind was "well, the expression "I'm alone doing nothing much at home" rings so true now that she's gone." And then, tears welled up as I was putting the key in the lock and I cried a bit after closing the door because she wasn't there. I went to the bathroom before bed and she didn't join me. Same when I went to bed... Muscle memory or something... you're so used to having things happen that even though you know they won't anymore, you still expect them to.

A few people, mom included, said that I will be able to get a new cat now. And I agree, it's true, and I really, really, really want to. But not right now. It's too soon. How long will I need? I have no idea, but I need time to mourn her.

However, I know exactly what I want for a new cat. I've known for a couple years. Sounds weird, I know, to have a cat at home and already "plan" for the next one. I want a kitten. Black fur, green eyes. And I will call it Salem. Male or female doesn't matter much. It will keep its claws. And it'll be an indoor cat, like all others I had (except Ginger was declawed but that was done by a previous owner (she had a bunch in her life)). When I am ready, I will check rescue and/or adoption centers for sure.

JP says his sister's friend or I don't quite remember who (might not even be from his sister), has kittens he doesn't wanna keep and JP thought of me. I thanked him but said it's a bit too soon (he said that to me on Monday). You know, like a already said, I want time to mourn Ginger some. I'm not one that will replace a cat right after losing one almost right on the spot. They aren't numbers. They are family. Also, each of them are irreplaceable, basically. I need a little time.

Definitely though, I will not stay alone too long.

Had to stop for lunch...

During lunch, a coworker said I could get an adult cat, just make sure it's all spayed or neutered and vaccinated and such. But I want a kitten so...

I'll see. Only time will tell, really. 2 days after the fact is too early. That, I know.
Current Location: work
Current Music: Robert Plant - 29 Palms